The Last of Us: Days of Remembrance
by Shadow2700
Summary: Sequel to 'Memories of the Past,' Joel remembers a day that he'd rather not until Ellie brings him back and pulls a little more of his humanity back with her while she begins to truly understand just how much he means to her and shows it to him.


_The Last of Us: Days of __Remembrance_

* * *

Ellie was whistling in tune with a song that was currently stuck in her head, much to Joel's annoyance. The pair were currently on a scavenging run with Tommy as they often did considering they trusted each other so highly. Not to mention that protecting one's family was always a top priority when they were together. Today though, Joel wished that Ellie had stayed behind with Maria and help her with the settlement. Of course though, she had to be stubborn and demanded she'd go with them and Joel finally relented.

But that damn whistling…

"Girl, I know you enjoy that but will you stop please?" Joel demanded more than asked her as a puddle wet his pants leg.

"What the hell's wrong with you? At least it's in tune." Ellie defended herself with a scowl.

"In tune or not, it's annoying me right now. And what if it attracts infected?" Joel turned to her and then back at Tommy.

"Don't look at me brother, I think she sounds good." Tommy replied, knowing why Joel was acting out here today.

"Yeah and you usually like my whistling." Ellie smiled to Tommy, happy he came to her defense.

"Sorry, just have a headache today. And I want to get this done with." Joel remarked as he saw an old building just off in the distance, probably a building of sorts that was meant to keep towers or some electrontics in check. Hopefully there'd be some things of use for them back in Jackson.

"Come on, let's see if there's anything in here and then we can head back." Joel said making his way towards the building. Ellie and Tommy didn't argue and followed him towards the building quickly making their way inside it. Joel groaned at first glance as there didn't appear to be anything inside the building.

"Shit…I hope we didn't waste our time coming here." Joel ran a weary hand through his graying hair.

"Sheesh, way to keep optimism there." Ellie sarcastically remarked as she started rummaging through the draws and cabinets. Tommy walked up next to his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You want to just wait outside while we look through this?" he asked him, staring at him in a way that only Joel knew. The old man knew that look, the _knowing _look that Tommy always gave him at this time of the year.

"No, I'll look. The faster we get done the better." Joel said in a low, gruff voice as he made his way to the back. Ellie just looked at Joel's form walk into the back then looked towards Tommy with a annoyed look.

"What's up his ass?" Ellie asked him moving an old cardboard box out of the way, only to sigh in disappointment of another with nothing in it. Tommy had similar luck as he went through some cupboards that were hanging on by a thread but found nothing in them.

"Hey Tommy! Found something good!" Joel shouted from the back room. Abandoning their search, Tommy and Ellie quickly made their way to the back room to find Joel holding a box filled what appeared to plastic cases.

"What you got?" Ellie asked him.

"Tons of movies, some good ones too." Joel replied with a small smile and rough voice.

"What movies you got in there?" Tommy asked as he took it and set it on the counter beginning to file through it.

"Whoever had it was one of good tastes, _Goodfellas, Casino, The Departed, Saving Private Ryan._" Joel listed off as he looked around for anything else.

"Are those movies really that good?" Ellie asked as she started looking around as well.

"Oh they were but they were for the adult crowd, there's also some movies for the kids as well." Joel replied as he found nothing else of value.

"Well this is good, definitely a good collection here and we can watch them. Good thing the DVD player we found still works." Tommy remarked closing the box up and preparing to take it with him.

"Maybe will watch some of them tonight." Ellie said with a smile standing next to him.

"Another night maybe, let's just get going. Sun's starting to set." Joel remarked as he made his way out the room and towards the front. Ellie frowned at his sudden change in attitude again. These last few days he had been like this and she was getting fed up with it.

"Joel, just what the hell are you so fucking mopey about? You've been like this for the last few days." Ellie said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Ellie…" Tommy warned her, trying to stop her.

"No, I want to know what's pissing him off so much. You may not say much, but I can read you like a book." Ellie said to Joel who had his back to him. Joel turned his head slightly to see her gaze.

"It's nothing, just not feeling well…come on, we need to get going." Joel said as he exited the building. Ellie and Tommy stood in silence for a moment before she broke the silence.

"What the fuck?!" Ellie threw her hands up in defeat.

"Ellie…" Tommy quietly said to her.

"I mean, I thought we had been able to get past some of these problems back in Austin, but I guess he's still…"

"Ellie!" Tommy shouted at her. Ellie stopped her complaining at the sound of his voice, wondering what she had done to set him off.

"Listen, this is a tough time for him. I'm not going to tell you because it's not my place to. That's on him and he has to deal with it. If he wants to tell you, he will but don't pressure him to say anything if he doesn't want to." Tommy explained to her.

"But…"

"Don't…just let him be, he'll come back round eventually." Tommy said making his way for the door.

"Come on, he's right. We got to get back."

Ellie looked at him momentarily before nodding, thinking why Joel was so quiet and miserable. It had to be something to do with Sarah because he never was quite like this with anything else. Nothing made him like this.

One way or another, she was going to help him.

* * *

The next morning Ellie had woken up early and made her best attempt at making breakfast for her and Joel. Granted they had some eggs and toast from the supplies that Jackson had been able to start making so food was starting to become actually enjoyable, something she rarely ever had as a child. She wondered if this was what Joel had enjoyed before the outbreak. This time though she wanted to try and do something for him for a change. So she tried to make scrambled eggs as best she could when she heard him come into their kitchen.

"What the world you doing up before me?" Joel asked her as he took a seat in the chair by the table. Ellie grabbed the prepared food and placed it on the table.

"I thought I'd do something nice for you and make you breakfast." Ellie smiled sitting across from him. Joel eyed her suspiciously resting head against his hand.

"Now you've never made breakfast before. What makes you think that I would eat it now?" Joel asked her, his voice showing he was still tired.

"Hey! You haven't even tried it yet!" Ellie protested taking a bite of the eggs, happy that she hadn't screwed up too badly as the taste was perfect, well better than an old can of crap they got from some abandoned house.

"Fair enough and if you took a bite and aren't choking, can't be half bad." Joel grunted as he sat up and grabbed his fork, taking a helpful amount of slightly burned egg into his mouth. Ellie watched him intently as he chewed silently before swallowing it down.

"Well?" she asked him with an excited tone in her voice. Joel gave her a small smile of approval.

"Not bad for your first attempt. I'll teach you how to do other stuff sometime." Joel replied as he enjoyed the rest of his breakfast.

Ellie's heart swelled with pride as she watched Joel eat his plateful, knowing that _she _had done that for _him. _Yes she had saved him from death in the colds of Colorado last year, a time that she always shuddered at because of David, but this felt just as important to her as back then. Food was a source of life and preparing it was just as important as eating it, you didn't want to have food poisoning. So something that she prepared for him that was edible was a joy to her as well as doing something for him to try and improve his mood. He seemed alright at the moment but she still wondered if he was hiding it but she heeded Tommy's advice and decided to wait until he was ready open up.

"Ellie?" Joel asked her, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Oh sorry I was lost there. What's up?" Ellie asked him.

"You gonna finish your food before you have to meet Tommy and Maria? You're running a little late." Joel reminded her looking at the clock that read ten-thirty on it.

"Shit! I'm late!" Ellie scrambled out of her seat as she went to grab her pack back and make sure it had everything in it.

"Whoa, settle down, s'alright to be a little late. Tommy's an understanding guy." Joel assured her as he sat back, still calm.

"Doesn't matter, need to get going!" Ellie exclaimed zipping her back pack together and throwing it over her shoulder. But before she made her way to the door, she decided to make an attempt to try and get his spirits up.

"You sure you don't want to come with me? Get yourself out and about?" Ellie asked him standing at the doorway.

"Nah, he gave me this day off and I just want to rest. Still not feeling all that well." Joel replied quietly, silently disappointing her.

"Alright…well, I'll be back in a few hours and maybe we can go for a walk or teach me more guitar lessons." Ellie suggested, her face giving him a smile to try and hide her concern. Joel looked up at her and gave her a nod in return.

"I'll be here when you get back." Joel replied waving her off. Ellie just remained silent and waved back to him as she walked out the door.

Joel looked at the uneaten breakfast left by Ellie and grabbed the plate, eating the untouched slices of toast and egg, feeling hungrier than usual since he hadn't really eaten much in a few days. It was a good thing that only bites could infect you but considering that he had touched plenty of infected before looting them. He remembered when Sarah had made him breakfast and enjoyed it just as much and he remembered what day it was today. Sighing as he took the plates to the sink and then made his way over to his leather recliner that they had salvaged not too long ago. Grabbing the bottle of liquor hidden under the table, he grabbed the glass that went with it and poured himself a nice helpful. He had been planning this since yesterday has he had always done for twenty years.

"Happy birthday to me…and rest well baby girl. I hope you still love me." Joel said to no one as he began to drink.

He looked down at the keepsake on his wrist, thinking to himself that usually he avoided the drink but today was a day that he really needed it. September 26th, his birthday, a day that every year that passed reminded him of his age. Another reminder that he was getting older and put a little more doubt in his mind as to if he would survive another year in this world. In the past he wondered what was worth surviving forth but he always kept finding something to keep going and it was always changing. Now he had a permanent reason for living.

It had been a few months since he and Ellie had traveled to Austin to face his demons. He would never be able to escape the past but he was able to accept it and even though things were easier between he and his baby girl, he always wondered if she still resented him for what he had done. In some ways now he had begun resent himself because of all the lives he had taken. He still saw himself as a monster and wondered what fate he would be resigned to when the time came. So with those thoughts over the last few months and his birthday now bringing them into full swing, he decided he needed a drink…

Ellie meanwhile was with Tommy and Maria as she helped them with some barricades around the perimeter.

"There now just hold that there and I'll hammer it in." Tommy instructed Ellie as he took his mallet and hammered in a large nail into the board.

"Seems kind of weird that we're using regular wood against a metal fence." Ellie commented as she let go of the board and rested her hands against her hips.

"Well it didn't really need it, but it's an area where infected could get into a lot easier than say the main entrance. You always have to keep an eye on your surroundings." Maria remarked standing next to her.

"Yeah, Joel taught me that a long time ago." Ellie smiled crossing her arms. That statement shot into Tommy's mind as it strewed to thoughts of his brother at the mention of his name and how uneasy it was to accept Ellie's explanation that he was simply not feeling well.

"Maybe we should check on him, see how he's doing. Just cause I gave him a day off, usually he's still wanting to do something." Tommy suggested as the group turned and headed back into the center of Jackson. In truth though, he knew why he was distant.

"He said he still wasn't feeling well." Ellie admitted, already knowing just as well as Tommy that he probably wasn't ill, just lost in his thoughts.

"I figured he say that today." Tommy quietly remarked chewing on a straw.

"Why do you say that?" Ellie asked him kicking up some dirt. Tommy was upset that his brother wouldn't say anything or try to come to the people he cared about, but he was always like that even growing up. He figured that Joel would never tell her himself, he always preferred to keep things to himself and hold it in. He'd probably kill him for this later.

"Because…today is his birthday." Tommy simply answered. Ellie's eyes went wide at the realization.

"Wait, it's his birthday? Then why didn't he say anything?" Maria asked her husband crossing her arms.

"Yeah, I mean, I know he's old but that doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate another year alive." Ellie remarked excited about what she could do for him today, besides making him breakfast of course.

"It's not an occasion he likes to celebrate. Damn it…." Tommy sighed rubbing his eyes. "…I don't like talking about this either and he'll probably punch me for it."

"But it's still his birthday. What doesn't he like to celebrate about it?" Ellie asked him, upset that Joel wouldn't share this with her. Tommy sighed quietly looking upward at the sky.

"Not everyone has a day to mark the beginning of the outbreak, but he does. It happened on this day and…we lost Sarah a few hours later afterward." Tommy explained shortly, not wanting to say anything else about the matter.

"It was on his birthday? Holy shit…I…I don't know what to say." Ellie said quietly as she stopped in her tracks.

"There's nothing to say, he doesn't like celebrating it." Tommy remarked leaning against a fence, hoping his brother wasn't doing anything crazy.

"I can see why he wouldn't. But, you two went to his old home to try and absolve himself of those memories." Maria remarked to Ellie. The girl was about to reply when Tommy cut in.

"He may be able to accept it most days of the year, but most men can't escape sorrow like that, especially on a day like today. There's a reason he still holds that watch, it was Sarah's last gift to him. So when it's his birthday or hers, he just wants to be left alone." Tommy sighed looking at the two women.

"Maybe that's not what he needs though. Maybe he needs that company." Ellie quietly replied looking at the two adults.

"Ellie…" Tommy began but was cut off by her again.

"No, I have an idea to help him. He may not like it, but he needs people around him to help comfort him, not to be miserable. I remember him helping me, doing his best in his own way. Even though I didn't want to talk, he still tried so for him I need to try to do the same. But I want help as well from you." Ellie asked of them. Tommy and Maria remained quiet but looked at the young girl. Tommy could only imagine this girl being just like Sarah in so many ways and he was happy his brother had someone like this. Cure be damned, she deserved to live. Tommy looked at her and nodded.

"If you're willing to listen then we can give it a shot to try and cheer him up." Ellie said with determination. Tommy and Maria looked at her with skeptic looks but decided that if anyone can help Joel, it was her. So Ellie began to go into detail of what she had in mind.

* * *

Joel was about three quarters through the bottle and was beginning to get the feeling of passing out when he heard footsteps to his door which burst opened two seconds later to reveal Ellie. He really did not want to see anyone right now because he had a feeling that he would end up having a deep conversation, something he didn't like. Sadly for him, it seemed like someone had a different plan for him as the door opened.

"Joel, what the hell?" Ellie looked at him confused as she saw the bottle of liquor and an inebriated Joel looking back at her with dull eyes.

"Not my best day I guess." Joel groaned out tilting his head back.

"Yeah, no shit. You said you weren't feeling well, now I see why. What the hell are drinking for?" Ellie asked him.

"Again, not my best day, not one that I want to remember." Joel let slip out unintentionally.

"Yeah, I know why as well." Ellie remarked as she took a seat next to him, grabbing the bottle and keeping it to her side away from him.

"I guess Tommy told you then. Fucking smartass doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut sometimes." Joel groaned again as he felt his back ache.

"Fucking age is catching up with me." Joel added in before sitting up best as he could. Ellie sighed as she looked at the man before her, no doubt in the same pain that he had been a few months ago in Sarah's room. She was sure that he was thinking about her room that day, about the things that were said between them and that he probably was still in pain as he learned to move forward. Things were good between them and there were still moments of anger at him, but she accepted what he said and realized just how deeply she meant to him.

"Yeah and it's affecting your brain. You know you can share your pain with me right? I'm not just your baby girl, I'm your friend too." Ellie said to him with a gentle concern in her voice.

"If I can't talk to it about my brother then how the hell do you expect me to talk to you? Especially after all the pain and lies I've caused you." Joel looked at her with obvious pain in his eyes and voice.

"Because we went through hell and back together and that we have done everything together. You consoled me in my time of need and I took care of you when you were hurt. We need to lean on each other Joel, that's how it'll always be. So stop with the self-pity bullshit already." Ellie said trying to make him see reason.

"And what happens when I'm gone?" Joel asked her back. Ellie was taken aback at his remark, but in ways he was right. He wouldn't always be around and he would eventually pass away before her, hopefully in his sleep at an old age. But she always kept those thoughts at bay so she wouldn't feel sad.

"Then I'll learn to be strong, just like you are." Ellie said quietly with voice of hope in it.

"I hope so, because I'm not strong like I used to be. I've killed innocent people, I've killed hunters, I've killed infected. I'm an animal because of what I've done, but the worst is lying to you, making you live with the guilt for something that I did. Every day since we came back to Jackson, I have thought about that lie, about what I did to save you. I don't regret saving you, but there are days where I wonder if you had said yes to it given the choice, would I be able to accept it. I said I would kill myself if you did it then I wonder if I would kept going, become the animal again." Joel said to her with a solemn voice and his throat slightly groggy.

"Joel…you aren't a monster so stop fucking saying that already. Yes, we've all done things that we wish we hadn't and I know you've done things that you aren't proud of but you were forced to. You're the strongest person I know." Ellie said with a smile. She wondered just how deeply scared he really was though. He never showed this side in public, but when they were in private, rare as they were, he would show his thoughts and emotions. Sure, this time it was probably due to the liquor but it was something that he needed to say regardless.

"I may have a fair amount of liquor in my system but I know when you're trying to comfort me." Joel said leaning forward and resting his hands in his lap.

"Of course I am. We're family that's what we do." Ellie said with a gleam in her eye. Joel didn't say anything to her for a few minutes as they sat in calm silence and just enjoyed the company. Much as Joel didn't want to talk to anyone, it was nice that there was someone that could talk to him and not judge. But there was still a lingering question on his mind.

"Do you hate me Ellie?" Joel bluntly asked her. Ellie's eyes shot wide and she felt the anguish in his voice.

"What?" she simply asked him back. Joel sighed as he looked away from her.

"I have given you no reason these last few months to like me after all I've said, all the things I've done. We may have come to an understanding, understood each other in Sarah's room but…there's still something in the back of my mind that I need to know. I lied to you, more than likely put everyone's sacrifice in vein, got myself hurt and couldn't protect you from that son of a bitch that still haunts you, but the worst is that I given you the reason to hate me. But I need to hear it from you…do you hate me…or do you forgive me?" Joel asked her, feeling a tension in him as he waited for his answer.

Ellie looked at him with a gaze of disbelief and confusion. Who was this man? He had always given her strength, always protected her and always cared for her. All the things that happened in Austin seemed to fly out the window now as he had been holding pain in for a long time. Maybe that day in Austin had changed him and maybe he had begun to realize the depth of his guilt, of all the things he had done in the past and it tore him apart inside. This was indeed a different man than the one she had met over a year ago.

"Ya know…for a long time, I thought about what you said to me, about Riley, Tess, Sam and Henry. I feel like they died for me and it weighs on me a lot still and it wasn't until you said those things to me back in Austin that I saw another side of things. And I started to think that you may have been right that they wouldn't have wanted me to die, not for the world we have right now." Ellie sighed a looking at his broken watch on his wrist.

"If I'm immune then I still think there is another cure out there but what you said, about us trying to get our humanity back, and it sounds true. I think a cure would help the world but what then? What about all the hunters and cannibals out there, not to mention the infected that would have to be gotten rid of? If there is a cure then it'll happen, and if it's guaranteed a cure comes from my death…then I have to decide if I want to do it" Ellie said with a conviction in her voice, one that made Joel feel like he'd been stabbed in his heart.

"But _I _have to be given that choice and they didn't so you saving gave me a chance to do that. What you told me…about finding something to fight for, I said it was you. Only now…I have a clearer understanding of that. I'm supposed to help you find your way back, to get your humanity back, along with the others as well. That's what my purpose is for living in this. But I can't be a replacement for Sarah, if I chose to die if it's for a cure, it has to be certain because I'll be doing the same thing they did, dying in a world that shouldn't exist." Ellie said standing from her chair.

"And if you chose that then I'll have no idea what to do." Joel replied as he felt her walk over to him.

"Then you'll stay strong for me, because it'll be my last request, to keep living for me and help rebuild society." Ellie said standing next to him. Joel looked up at her with a soul piercing gaze.

"You know that you'll never be a replacement for Sarah right? Sarah was my flesh and blood and she's gone, just like my old world. And you should never consider yourself that because you are Ellie, you are your own person that can make her own choices, ones that I may not agree with. But you are my daughter, blood or not. You will _always _be my daughter and you will always be Sarah's sister that you never met. If you make that choice if it's ever presented to you again and it's guaranteed it'll make us immune, then I'll accept with a heavy heart that will never heal. Do you understand?" Joel asked her with a tremble in his voice.

Ellie didn't say anything but nodded to him, understanding just how hard this was for him. But every time he said that she was his world, that she was his daughter, it gave her a sense of belonging, of family and bond. The fact that he had alright called her his daughter, but as Ellie and as a sister to Sarah, not a replacement made her heart swell up with warm and joy. She knelt in front of Joel and looked him in the eyes.

"Of all the things you've ever said, that was by far the deepest I think you've ever spoken from your heart." Ellie smiled, her face shining bright in the dark. Joel didn't cry but looked at her with unease.

"Would you really go through with it though? Would you really want to die?" Joel asked her. Ellie simply smiled.

"You really think I would? Who would keep your ass in line then?" Ellie asked with a cocky smirk. Joel chuckled quietly to himself.

"Do you forgive me then?" Joel asked simply. Ellie only kept smiling.

"After all we've been through, you shouldn't have to ask." Ellie answered pulling him into a deep embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head over his shoulder. Joel returned it instantly, stroking her hair and felt the weight of his inner demons being lifted as they shared their father-daughter moment. Joel didn't want to let go because for the first time, he truly felt happy with no guilt, something he hadn't felt when they had embraced in their family moment in Austin. Ellie somehow knew this and if she wanted to get him to his surprise then she would have to break away.

"If your old ass isn't too drunk to walk, we've prepared something for you back at Tommy's." Ellie said helping up out of the chair.

"One day, that sailor mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble." Joel predictably remarked, trying to ease himself back to his usual quiet self, considering she was going to force him to see Tommy.

"What do you mean by that? I've never been a sailor." Ellie asked him completely clueless .

"It's an old way of saying you fucking swear too much." Joel replied gathering his bearings as he felt the alcohol still affecting his ability to stand.

"Well that's the pot calling the kettle black then." Ellie remarked sticking her tongue out at him.

"Oh great, who taught you that?" Joel asked as he let her grab his arm and drag him to the door.

"Maria did. Now come on, let's get going." Ellie said opening the door and dragging him out.

"I'm surrounded by crazies…" Joel chuckled to himself as he closed the door behind him.

* * *

"Ellie, how much further do we have?" Joel asked letting her lead him now that he was blindfolded.

"Stop asking, we're almost there." Ellie groaned as she led him to a door and opened it. Grasping his hand, she pulled him inside a quickly closed door.

"Alright, just one second." Ellie mumbled as she worked the knot around his blindfold.

"Did I mention I hate being blindfolded? Makes me think I'm being led to my death." Joel replied, fighting off the effects of alcohol.

"Well you're not so just give him me a second." Ellie huffed as she finally got the knot untied. Quickly removing it, Joel opened his eyes.

"Surprise!" Ellie shouted with Tommy and Maria as they sat around a table with a make shift celebration lunch of burgers and beer. Joel smirked as he looked at the food and then at his brother.

"Tommy, I ever tell you that you should keep your mouth shut?" Joel asked him walking up to him.

"Too many times. Look, I know it's not a day you want to celebrate and it wasn't my idea, but your girl there insisted." Tommy nodded over to Ellie. Joel looked at her who returned his gaze with an awkward smile.

"Surprise?" Ellie laughed nervous. Joel just sighed tilting his head into the palm of his hand.

"Alright, I'll bite, what do you have planned?" Joel asked Ellie taking a seat at the table. Ellie sat next to him, Tommy and Maria falling suit.

"Well we were going to eat first and then if you were up to it, have a shooting contest. After that, we would put those movies to good use for you." Ellie explained to him.

"Ellie, it's not really much of a surprise if you say everything." Maria reminded her.

"Nah, that's fine, I'm not a fan of surprises anyway." Joel replied.

"Sorry…" Ellie apologized, feeling heart sullen.

"Don't apologize, I said I'm not a fan, but I would always accept one from you." Joel smiled at her as he grabbed a plate. Ellie's mood switched back to her usual energetic self at his remark. He wasn't a man of many words in public but she knew when he appreciated things.

After eating probably the tastiest burgers that he had in his lifetime, probably because he hadn't had any in twenty years, they discussed the various things that they were going to start doing next in Jackson and the daily routines they had to go over. Tommy still had things to take care of today but he was going to at least celebrate some of his brother's birthday, if only to take his mind off of Sarah for a few hours. They also went into the discussion of what they could work on bringing back from the old days. Joel's first suggestion was of course coffee.

"You've got a better chance of a choice cut of steak or ketchup than coffee." Tommy remarked with a smile while crossing his arms.

"What's ketchup?" Ellie looked at Joel slightly confused.

"Something that would have gone good with those burgers, but it doesn't matter right now. Maybe you'll get to taste it one day." Joel explained to her.

"Hmm, sounds really good." Ellie replied with a smile.

"It was and probably a lot easier to get than coffee." Tommy said standing up from his seat.

"Give me a damn source and I'll ground the beans myself." Joel huffed quietly closing his eyes.

"We'll keep looking just for you big brother. But for now, I need to go check up on the guard lines and Maria is going to go inspect the medical bay. We shouldn't be more than a couple of hours." Tommy assured them as he and his wife made for the doorway.

"Be sure to take care of him Ellie." Maria smiled as she followed Tommy out the door and quickly closed it behind her. Ellie turned nodded and turned back to Joel who seemed quite relaxed in his current state right now, almost to the point she didn't want to disturb him.

Almost…

"Alright then, should we go shooting now? You and me have a little contest?" Ellie suggested leaning forward and resting her head on top of her hands.

"I'd rather just relax for a bit, besides you wouldn't be able to beat me." Joel chuckled, knowing full well what he was doing.

"Bullshit! I can kick your ass in it! You know what, let's make it interesting then. If I win, I get to choose what movies we watch tonight, if you win then you get to choose." Ellie suggested with a cocky grin.

"I thought this was my birthday?" Joel opened one eye at her.

"So? Doesn't mean we can't have fun with it. I promised myself I was going to make you happy today, and that's what I'm going to do. Unless you're afraid that is." Ellie dared him with a smirk. Joel knew what she was trying to do, and ordinarily he'd just ignore it. But she went through the trouble to do all of this and he didn't want to disappoint her.

"Alright then." Joel sat up in the chair. "Hunting rifles down at the range then?"

Ellie just grinned and nodded at him.

"Come on then, time to kick your ass." Joel chuckled offering his hand to her. Ellie gladly accepted it and followed him out back to the range. They both grabbed the rifle of they agreed on, something they were both comfortable with. Joel grabbed the Winchester Model 70 rifle off the rack and ten bullets, five for each of them.

"Alright, here are the rules. We each get fifteen seconds to nail the five targets I'll put up. I can take the can of yellow spray paint there and mark the five trees with a five by five inch square. We each have to hit those targets, once one of us is done, we'll go and examine the targets and see who was closest to the center of each one. Luckily they already have pieces of plywood on them so we'll be able to see them easy in the spray paint. Better accuracy wins the challenge. Sound good to you?" Joel asked her with crossed arms.

"Give me that gun and let me show you something." Ellie grinned taking the Winchester from him and loading five rounds in the gun.

"Slow down girl, let me get the targets up." Joel said grabbing the can of spray paint and marking the targets on the plywood in yellow.

"Hurry up and move already, I want to show you up old man." Ellie teased him while checking the sights of the rifle.

"Hey, you'd better watch yourself otherwise I'll really whoop you here." Joel called back to her as he set the paint down and stood a few feet from her. Ellie just giggled and chambered a round.

"Ready to go, count me down." Ellie instructed him.

"Alright, I'll be counting by 'Mississippi.' You ready?" Joel asked. Ellie turned to look at him with another confused look.

"What the hell you mean 'Mississippi' Joel?" Ellie asked him.

"I'll count like this. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. It's what we do when we don't have a stop watch." Joel explained to her.

"Got it, ready when you are." Ellie lined her eye with the scope again.

"Alright then, on the count of three. One, two, three." Joel counted down. As soon as he hit three, Ellie started shooting, making sure to hit the mark and then quickly chambering another round as the empty shell was ejected. Bolt action rifles have their advantages but rate of fire is not one of them. Joel watched as he counted in his head the seconds, watching Ellie quickly fire each round with silk precision and smoothness in each loaded round. Nine seconds passed by as she fired the last round and set the rifle down.

"How many seconds was that?" she eagerly asked him.

"It was nine, roughly a second and a half between shots. Pretty damn good, quicker than I can. But…speed isn't everything so let's see how accurate you were." Joel replied walking over to the targets, leaving a disgruntled Ellie to follow her.

"Alright, pretty good here, nice center shot here, this one is a little wide though that'll hurt you and you did well on the last two. Not centered, but close." Joel said as they walked over to each target.

"You're really trying to downplay my skills aren't you?" Ellie deadpanned at him.

"No, just saying that you can always improve. The thing that hurt you is the middle target because if I hit that even slightly better in roughly the same time, I win." Joel explained grabbing the rifle and loading the rounds.

"But you said I was faster than you. How can you win in that situation?" Ellie asked him crossing her arms under her chest.

"Because the difference between a head shot and a torso shot is what counts. But you might win anyway because I'm still a little buzzed right now." Joel replied with a grunt as he chambered a round.

"Now I can trust you to count like I did right?" he asked her. Ellie sighed dramatically and nodded.

"Yes, let's get this over with. You ready?" she asked him.

"Yep." He answered lining up his sights.

"Okay, one, two, three."

Joel quickly shot the first target, chambered the next round and shot again, doing the same for the third target, hitting the shot center mass. Chambering the next round he hit it center mass, but in his haste he screwed up the final chambering road and jammed the gun momentarily. He quickly lifted the handle and pulled back trying to chamber it with no luck, then tried again before succeeding and hitting the last shot center mass. But he knew he had lost this one.

"Don't say anything." Joel said warningly as he placed the rifle back in its rack. Ellie just looked at him 'innocently' but with a smug look on her.

"Timing getting stiff with old age? That was eighteen seconds." Ellie said in a teasing tone.

"Shut up, the rifle jammed otherwise I make that time and win." Joel reminded her as he turned to the door.

"Yeah…but…you still lost so I get to pick what movie we watch first." Ellie said, causing him some slight confusion.

"I thought you said whoever won would choose all the movies?" Joel asked her.

"Well, I think we could take turns switching. It is your birthday." Ellie said as they made their way to Tommy's living room. Joel plopped himself on the couch while Ellie grabbed the box beside the counter and felt its weight with the amount of movies inside it.

"Hmm, I'm not sure what's good and what's not. What were those movies you mentioned earlier?" Ellie asked him.

"Good movies, but they have a lot of killing in them so I'm not sure we want to watch something like that. Plots of the movies are really good but...I'm not in the mood for death right now. Shit, I guess most movies have death in them somehow." Joel replied with a yawn.

"Well there are some other ones in here as well. _Fight Club, Toy Story, _really? Sounds cheesy." Ellie scoffed as she filed through the movies.

"You'd probably like that one actually. Lots of kids did, hell even grown men cried at the third one." Joel chuckled as he watched her rifle through the collection.

"Are you serious? There was a third one? That means there was a second one. That's bullshit." Ellie laughed.

"Not really, I remember when I took Sarah and she loved it, but I also remember hearing some crying from grown men." Joel replied, smiling at the memory of the movies with his daughter. Ellie cringed at the mention of the name but she noticed that he was quiet and didn't hesitate to say it. It seemed that he was able to speak about her easier now.

"Well then I guess we'll give it a try another day but I want to watch something I know I'll enjoy. _Die Hard _sounds good but I'm having a tough choice between that, something called _GoldenEye _and _Star Wars_." Ellie replied looking at her three options.

"Which _Star Wars _is it? There were six of them." Joel asked her, hoping that it was one of the good ones.

"Um…it says _A New Hope _under the title." Ellie answered back.

"It's one of the good ones then. See if there's two more called _The Empire Strikes Back _and _Return of the Jedi."_ Joel instructed as he held his wrist, trying to crack it.

"Alright, give me a second…." Ellie mumbled as she started searching deeper into the box. "…hey! Found them, and three others as well!"

"Shit, the prequels. We'll avoid those as long as we can." Joel groaned, dreading watching those again.

"What's so bad about them?" Ellie asked him.

"Not important, just keep the ones I mentioned together. You have to watch them in order to really like it." Joel explained to her. He was never one for the sci-fi genre of movies, but even he could appreciate what those movies meant to a lot of people.

"Okay, but I still have to choose between that, _GoldenEye _and _Die Hard._" Ellie replied looking at the three movie choices.

"Hmm, you'd probably like all of them. Tell you what, we'll watch both of them tonight and if we're up we'll watch _Star Wars_." Joel suggested to her.

"Alright, but _GoldenEye_ sounds pretty good to start with." Ellie remarked at the suave looking man on the cover with a silenced pistol and two women standing behind him.

"You ever seen a full movie before?" Joel asked her leaning forward.

"Nope, everyone was too busy with education or whatever bullshit they said. That or I can't remember." Ellie shrugged pulling the movie out of its case.

"Then you'll be starting with a good one then. _James Bond _was known world-wide and had a lot of movies with different versions of it. But I'll explain all that later." Joel said taking the DVD from her and walking over to the television set and putting the DVD in the player while turning on the TV.

"Thank Tommy that we have electricity again." Joel said happily as he went through menus and hit 'play' on it. Joel went back to the sofa and sat back on the end as the movie began to play trying his best to get relaxed but noticed Ellie who was sat on the floor watching at his feet.

"Watcha doing down there?" Joel asked her causing Ellie to turn her head.

"Trying to get it from the best view." Ellie simply answered back.

"Your butt's going to be hurting if you sit on that hard floor. Sit up here." Joel said to her, knowing if she didn't there would be some complaining later. Ellie shrugged and sat on the other end of the couch stretching her legs out as she watched the opening scenes of the movie. Joel sighed with content as he enjoyed the happiness of watching a movie again with someone that he cared about so deeply. As the movie rolled along and it had its sequences of action and the lead character's ever flaunting ability to land women.

"Why in the hell does all he do is sleep with women?" Ellie asked him after the end credits rolled.

"It's part of who he is. He's lost a lot of women he cared about or lives life to the edge since he can die at any time." Joel answered for her.

"Not really much of an excuse to sleep around, but the action is really good." Ellie said with a gleeful smile. "That was actually a really good movie overall."

"Glad you liked it. But I'm willing to bet you'll like _Die Hard_ even better." Joel simply remarked as he grabbed that movie from its case and began to switch out the movies, hitting 'play' again and resuming his position on the couch.

Two more hours passed by as they watched the movie and Joel couldn't have hit the nail any harder if he tried. Ellie absolutely _loved_ this movie. It was all action with Bruce Willis as a badass job saving his wife from terrorists, going through absolute torture just to save people trapped in the building. The thing that Ellie loved about it though was that as she watched this movie, it gave her the same sense that she got when Joel would talk protectively of her, that he would do anything to save her as well. She looked at him, wondering what he was thinking at the moment. He seemed very calm as he watched the movie, very relaxed. But she smiled thinking that he would always do the same thing that John McLane would did for his loved one. Ellie wanted comfort now, scooting closer to Joel before resting beside him and placing her head against his shoulder. Joel grunted slightly at the sudden contact and looked down at her.

"Something wrong?" he asked her. Ellie shook her head and smiled grabbing his arm and wrapping it around her. Joel didn't argue with her and assumed she was tired and wanted to be reassured he was okay. Joel squeezed her gently to reassure just in case.

"He reminds of you, that John McLane guy." Ellie remarked closing her eyes. Joel chuckled at that statement.

"Why you say that?"

"Because, he's badass just like you are and he did all that to protect his wife and those people. That's what I think of you as well, you protect me. Only difference, I got your back as well." Ellie replied grasping his hand gently. Joel grunted as his response but smiled as well.

"You should say a badass line like he does. Yippie-Ki-Yay motherfucker." Ellie giggled imagining Joel saying something like that. Joel just laughed at the suggestion.

"I'm not going to say something like that when I'm trying to survive." Joel replied with a cocky smile.

"You're no fun you know that?" Ellie looked up at him with her hazel eyes.

"I know I'm not." Joel chuckled before looking down at her. "You want to watch one more since Tommy is still out?"

"Are there any moreof those movies like the one we just watched?" Ellie asked him.

"They actually made four more after it but we'll look and see if that box has them later. I think you need to watch _Star Wars _now. It might be almost sixty years old but it's still one of the greatest movies made." Joel said as he relinquished her arm momentarily to put that movie in and play it as well.

"Hopefully it's as good as the last movie." Ellie said as she made room for Joel on the couch, settling into his shoulder again. Joel was just as comfortable as she was and despite the fact he hated how she teased him about his age, but he did feel it and he was tired. He began to nod off and began to dream…

_Joel found himself back in Pittsburgh, back where there were hunters and infected everywhere but no sign of Ellie. Quickly he began to run down the abandoned streets calling out her name._

"_Ellie, where are you?" Joel turned left to right. No answer and the skies were growing darker, spores everywhere but he ran through them with no fear._

"_Ellie!" he shouted as he rounded a corner into an alleyway._

"_I'm here Joel!" Ellie shouted back. Joel turned around and looked as he saw Ellie standing a few feet away behind her with the opening to the alley soundly closed off. But his heart dropped and fear entered as he saw a Hunter that was right behind her._

"_Ellie! Get away from him now!" Joel shouted desperate y to her._

"_Who Joel?" Ellie asked him as the Hunter pulled out a machete. What cruel joke was this? How could she not see him or hear him behind her?_

"_Move it Ellie!" Joel shouted as he ran to her, boxes and cans falling in front of him but he didn't care._

"_What's your problem Joel? There's no one here." Ellie smiled as the Hunter raised his machete._

"_ELLIE!" Joel screamed as he tripped over a bottle and plywood breaking his ankle in the process._

"_Guess you failed to save her…just like Sarah." The hunter laughed evilly beginning his swing._

"_Yeah, just like Sarah…." Ellie frowned as the machete swung down at her._

"Ahh!" Joel shocked himself awake and breathing heavily.

"Damn it Joel, what the hell you were dreaming about? You were mumbling my name in your sleep and thrashing." Ellie kneeled up and grasped his shoulders. Joel's eyes darted left to right as he gathered his surroundings. Joel's eyes focused on her as his breathing calmed and he relaxed.

"Joel?" Ellie asked, concern showing on her face. Joel looked around to make sure he they were safe, that this wasn't some other part of the nightmare. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, afraid of her disappearing from her. Ellie didn't need him to say anything and returned it affectionately. Ellie pulled back looked him in the eyes.

"You alright now?" Ellie asked him quietly. Joel just scoffed at it but smile.

"Far from alright, but getting there….thank you baby girl." Joel replied hugging her again. Ellie returned the hug tightly, doing everything to make him feel alright and reassured. She pulled back and looked at him again with gentle eyes.

"You want to watch the rest of this? We haven't missed much." Ellie replied, trying to take his mind off of her and Sarah.

"Yeah, we still haven't gotten to the best parts yet." Joel said leaning back into the couch, taking a deep breath. Ellie leaned back with him and gently rested against his body, using it as a pillow.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it?" Ellie asked him taking his hand back in hers.

"No, not while we're watching movies. Talking about it would only make it harder to bear on this day. Besides, I'm content watchin' this with you, as long as you're willing to keep me company." Joel replied looking at her.

"You're stuck with me till the end so yeah, I'll keep you company." Ellie laughed as she resumed watching the movie, seeing that they were still in the….Death Star…she thought they called it.

They were escaping to the ship while the tall guy in all black fought with the old man with laser swords she called it. Watching it made her realize that Joel was indeed right, this really was a great fucking movie, and just think there were five more. No way that the one's Joel said were terrible could be that bad. It was about another forty five minutes before the credits rolled and she sat there amazed at the movies they had just watched. Joel looked at her and couldn't help but smile at her reaction.

"I guess you enjoyed it then huh?" Joel asked her without needing to know the answer.

"Hell yes! You sure we can't the other ones now?!" Ellie asked him filled with excitement.

"Sorry kiddo, we've sat here for six hours today at least, I think we need to move around and little bit." Joel chuckled as he stretched his joints from the lack of activity. But he didn't escape the look Ellie gave him, sadden at his decision.

"Man…" Ellie pouted crossing her arms. Joel just chuckled.

"Maybe we'll watch another one later. It's been twenty years, longer actually since I've seen some of these movies so I'm eager to watch them as much as you. But I have a present for you for all the things you've done for me." Joel replied getting up from his seat and walking over to the other side of the room and picking up the guitar set against the wall.

"Gonna play me a song?" Ellie sarcastically asked him crossing her legs.

"Only if you want to listen." Joel asked her.

"Well, go again then. You've taught me but never actually played many songs for me." Ellie replied anticipating the sweet music.

"Alright, but only because you asked so nicely." Joel smiled clearing his throat while tuning the strings. Once he was satisfied with the tuning, he began to strum while tapping his foot to keep the beat. "This is a song that a great guy named Bob Dylan wrote many, many years ago…"

_May God bless and keep you always_

_May your wishes all come true_

_May you always do for others _

_And let others do for you_

_May you build a ladder to the stars _

_And climb on every rung_

_May you stay forever young_

_Forever young, forever young _

_May you stay forever young._

_May you grow up to be righteous _

_May you grow up to be true_

_May you always know the truth _

_And see the lights surrounding you_

_May you always be courageous_

_Stand upright and be strong_

_May you stay forever young_

_Forever young, forever young _

_May you stay forever young._

_May your hands always be busy _

_May your feet always be swift_

_May you have a strong foundation _

_When the winds of changes shift_

_May your heart always be joyful _

_And may your song always be sung_

_May you stay forever young_

_Forever young, forever young _

_May you stay forever young._

Joel finished with a final strum of the guitar and let it ring into the world. He placed the guitar down against the floor and sat exhaling.

"What did you think?" Joel asked her looking away slightly embarrassed that he had actually song for her. His answer was a rough hug that sent them both back to the back of the couch and Ellie sobbing into his shoulder.

"Baby girl…." Joel whispered hugging her back as she sobbed, not caring if his shirt was wet from the tears.

"That was beautiful…" Ellie sobbed quietly as she hugged him tighter.

"Hey, no tears from you alright?" Joel said gently stroking her hair.

"I can't help it…no one's ever sang a song like that to me before." She sobbed, unable to control herself.

"Oh Ellie, it's alright." Joel soothed her as he let her cry till her tears were dry. But he didn't let go of her and she didn't let go of him, she didn't want to because he was the person she cared about the most and he was her protector.

"Joel…" Ellie whimpered not wanting to let go.

"Hey, I said no tears. No need to get like this over a song." Joel said pulling her back.

"I know…but it was about me wasn't it?" she asked him, wiping her eyes dry. Joel nodded to and ruffled her hair.

"It was. That's why I sang it. You've done so much for me today and for the last year…and I've not exactly been the best person either. So that song is for you. I learned it just for you." Joel smiled grasping her shoulders gently. Ellie smiled back and wiped her eyes again leaning and hugging him again.

"You not gonna be this attached to me all the time are you?" Joel chuckled returning it.

"I won't always show it like this, but today's your birthday. You deserve all the love you should get from me and Tommy and Maria." Ellie giggled pulling away and stepping off the couch. She grabbed the guitar from the lessons she had learned up till now, she bravely began to strum the strings herself.

"I listened to the Eric Clapton tape you played and I thought this song was perfect. I wasn't expecting play it so soon but…consider it another birthday present." Ellie smiled at him and began to sing best as she could.

_Sailing down behind the sun,_

_Waiting for my prince to come._

_Praying for the healing rain_

_To restore my soul again._

_Just a toerag on the run._

_How did I get here?_

_What have I done?_

_When will all my hopes arise?_

_How will I know him?_

_When I look in my father's eyes._

_My father's eyes._

_When I look in my father's eyes._

_My father's eyes._

_Then the light begins to shine_

_And I hear those ancient lullabies._

_And as I watch this seedling grow,_

_Feel my heart start to overflow._

_Where do I find the words to say?_

_How do I teach him?_

_What do we play?_

_Bit by bit, I've realized_

_That's when I need them,_

_That's when I need my father's eyes._

_My father's eyes._

_That's when I need my father's eyes._

_My father's eyes._

_Then the jagged edge appears_

_Through the distant clouds of tears._

_I'm like a bridge that was washed away;_

_My foundations were made of clay._

_As my soul slides down to die._

_How could I lose him?_

_What did I try?_

_Bit by bit, I've realized_

_That he was here with me;_

_I looked into my father's eyes._

_My father's eyes._

_I looked into my father's eyes._

_My father's eyes._

_My father's eyes._

_My father's eyes._

_I looked into my father's eyes._

_My father's eyes._

Ellie strummed and outro, playing a little solo of her own at the end, throwing in a twang tone into it before ending it with gentle and light strum. Ellie set the guitar in her lap and looked to Joel who had silently been watching it. She could usually read him but the look on his face didn't give anything away. A few tense moments passed for her but her fears were relieved when he wiped his eyes and she knew they were tears of happiness.

"Ellie, I got to say, this is the happiest I've been on my birthday in decades." Joel replied still wiping his eyes. Ellie set the guitar down on the floor and looked at him with a smile, one that Joel thought looked just like Sarah's.

"I'm glad it didn't suck for you. Does that mean I played pretty good?" Ellie asked him. Joel chuckled and looked at her.

"You're a natural." He answered proudly of how much she had learned in the few months he had taught her.

"How many times have we hugged today? I'm usually not that type of person." Joel stated.

"I don't know, three or four?" Ellie answered honestly. She couldn't remember right now but that wasn't the point.

"Let's add one more to it. Come here." Joel waved her over.

Ellie smiled brighter and gave him one more, this one filled with love and caring that probably they would only share once a year. Joel wasn't a real affectionate person and rarely showed his emotions but here, he deserved it. He needed love, not misery and even though she wasn't his biological daughter, she still was.

"You think we should interrupt them?" Maria asked Tommy as they stood outside the door. Tommy just smiled.

"Nah, it's the happiest I've seen him in a long time."

* * *

**A/N: Decided write a sequel to _Memories of the Past_. If I write another it'll be a different tone and something a little different. If there's any grammar errors then I'll have to attribute that to my lightheadness and past concussions. But the tone of the story was meant to further develop their relationship from the last story. Hopefully you all enjoyed it.**


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